Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays
Recently I posted If you think you’re enlightened go spend a week with your family. -Ram Dass. I love this post because most often it is our family of origin that can trigger us. I have so experienced this many times. It has shown me so many insights as to why I am the way I am.
There are all those little insecurities and injustices we have stored that show up.
When I am triggered I feel “What???? I have worked so much on this!!! How can I be triggered again?” Triggers are opportunities to grow.
Christmas is a time of family gatherings to come together, to catch up and reconnect. It is not the time to confront someone about how they are responding inappropriately to you.
You are already aware of some of the patterns and roles of your family. There might be one who is very direct and tells you “like it is” from their perspective which they believe is the only perspective. One who is the story teller and entertainer. Another one who is more structured with appropriate rules and etiquette and another who dramatic and having an emotional meltdown. These are just a few of the 9 personality types.
Having a strategy before you go is a good idea. Whatever the trigger if you can respond with humor you will feel more in control. For example if dealing with the big energy and directness of “Tell it like it is” type who says to you usually with a “should”. “Why are you wasting time in that job that going no where and in that loser company? You should be working at a top firm”. This can trigger many people for many reasons.
Using and responding with humor is a great way to deflect while not becoming defensive. “Then how would I get all this great experience and learn street smarts?” as you say this with a big smile on your face. You know the people who trigger you and you can have issues with.
I am posting a 9 Personality Series on my Facebook Page on How To Get Along At Christmas with others and for yourself. This will make it easier to understand and make gatherings more interesting.
Loving is not always agreeing but valuing them for how different they are from you…and maybe why you chose to be different or similar to them. If you really can appreciate and value each of your family members for their different perspectives it can expand how you view life.
I wish each of you a Merry Christmas and may you choose to make it a positive experience for you and your family.
Please follow along on my Facebook page of the 9 Personalities posting one per day. I appreciate likes and shares. Here is an example of one of the personalities.