How Enlightened Are You When You Are With Your Family?
And when those buttons get pushed, see how well you handle it from the way you used to. Then you can measure your growth.
My parents were moving out of their condo into a home and my three older brothers and I went home to help. Even though we are now all grownups the birth order patterns were still there. There are 3 years between all of us so 9 years between the oldest and me.
My brother next to me and I would make suggestions but it wasn't even considered. Not sure they even heard us. The two oldest were making decisions and taking action.
This is the way it was when we were younger. I could see our personality patterns and the patterns in the way we all respond when together. The only way to be heard was to be quite forceful and it took a lot of effort for me to do that.
At the end I really got some great insights for myself...why I have the personality traits that I have, what my automatic responses are and how I can change those patterns going forward.
Changing those patterns does not always feel comfortable but required to create change. And it doesn't need to be forceful, just change the way you normally react. I have found that if I talk slower and be more direct: "I have asked you not to do that." The first time I started doing this my brothers looked a little shocked.
With Xmas gatherings coming understanding your personality and those of your family can help you with those gatherings, especially those challenging people.
Learn more about your personality and those in all your relationships: Take The Quiz