VALENTINES - A DAY OF HUGE EXPECTATIONS
I remember when I was married, especially in the early years the pressure would build throughout the day...will he come in the door with flowers or won’t he? If he doesn’t will that mean he doesn’t love me? I based my whole value on that one day and relationship. The pressure he must have felt. There are so many other ways to show love and appreciate than with flowers and candy. I had not yet learned that no one else could make me happy or to validate myself.
One day in 365 and there is pressure to get it right...to show your love.... Is it that there are no expectations on any other day? You can just coast for another 364 days?
The expectation is that the guys amp up their game, cook a meal, buy flowers or candy, take her out to a fancy restaurant, or buy a present. “Create a romantic experience?” A lot of times it creates a whole lot of drama, disappointment and hurt feelings....especially if she has an expectation of how it “should be done & expressed” and doesn’t meet her romantic vision.
A lot of time part of the game is she is not supposed to say what she really wants. Every personality type has their own way of feeling loved and appreciated...and how to show their love from their own personality type.
I am seeing many couples who are opting out of the “valentine crazies” and choosing a less commercialized way and celebrating another day. Certainly that is what anniversaries are for...to celebrate another year.
For Singles, you can choose to make it a day of sadness without a partner....OR it can be a celebration of YOU.
It can be a day of confirming your independence and your choice to wait for the right partner for you ...of not settling, knowing your personal value, your gifts to a relationship, and how you enrich other’s lives. Many people are choosing to remain single and are very happy to do so and are leading rich and vibrant lives.
Whether in a relationship or single, celebrate what YOU love about YOU.